"Don't tell me the light is shining; Show me the glint of light on broken glass.
--Anton Chekov
We're all very familiar with the common refrain from those who plead for "Showing" not "Telling." Indeed, the more showing you can do (when it counts) the better. I always find some little lazy moments when I revise and find I've "told" rather than "shown." Here is a fun exercise to flex your writing noodle and put on the show.
Turn the following "Telling" into "Showing." You may use more than one sentence to do it, but brevity is a virtue. :o)
1. Telling: He lacked fashion sense. Showing: As if wearing plaid and stripes in public weren't bad enough, he walked down the street with his eyes wide in round, innocent "O's" of Oblivian.
2. Telling: His locker stunk.
3. Telling: She was stubborn.
4. Telling: It was a cloudy day.
5. Telling: The Lake was calm.
6. Telling: He wasn't good at sports.
7. Telling: He felt impatient.
8. Telling: She felt tired.
9. Telling: Her room was very neat.
10. Telling: He was a better student than his friends.
1 comment:
Be warned, at my blog I titled this: Writing Exercise No. 2, or, SolomonGrundy don’t know nuttin about no brevity ner no virtue.
2.Jokes were made about cadaver dogs being brought in as they joined the others cutting a wide swath around 179A, but Stanely recognized the wreak as week-old tuna fish from his own Spring Break and brown bag faux pas the year before.
3.Greater men than he, he knew, had battered their wills against hers, but that was no real solace as he gave in and let her have her way.
4.Margie felt badly for the flowers, not a drop of rain had fallen nor could a single ray of sunshine pierce the gray swollen sky.
5.The smooth black surface reflected his anticipation up at him as he plunged toward it, his splash destroying the surrealism of two worlds nose to nose.
6.The gathered home teams’ collective groan and the visitors’ cheer did nothing to bolster his spirits as he, head down, took his place on deck. Maybe, he thought as he came up to bat, the coach will take us out for pizza anyway. He, like everyone else in the stadium, could hear the ball striking the glove before the pitch ever left the mound.
7.She watched the man, and for what seemed like the hundredth time he paused his back-and-forth circuit mid-stride to check first the wall clock, then his watch, before continuing his hurried walk to nowhere.
8.Hair matted to her head by the sweat of her labors, grudgingly, slowly, she shouldered the load and resumed her task, the same task she would tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.
9.Brightly, the sun glinted back off every dustless surface, no book out of place, index cards pinned to the walls in neat, straight rows, her pens, pencils and keyboard aligned at attention, no errant stack of papers, nothing out of plumb, one got the impression even her brainstorms had order and cadence.
10.Another gold star, he was beginning to hate them because she passed the tests back face up and everyone could see them. Soon he was going to have to fail just to get the guys off his back.
Like that? Or did I miss the point?
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